This weekend was full of successful firsts..
1. Tyler’s had his first appointment with his new psychiatrist. It went so well. Toby and I both took him in case there was a meltdown and one of us would have to take him out while the other stayed to talk with the doctor.. but it wasn’t even necessary. He walked into the office without an argument, climbed on the scale to be weighed and measured then sat calmly on Toby’s lap while we spoke with the doctor. I was pleased that the doctor let us stay in the room with him the entire time. Tyler was so well-behaved and I was very proud of him. What a long way we have come from his first appointment with the therapist when he refused to go in and the appointment ended with everyone crying except the therapist! (Although she was the cause on most of our tears!)
2. Tyler made it though an entire Sunday church service for the first time since he moved in. He went to church without a fight and he was wearing clothes..woohoo! He has given up on the whole” pajamas for church” idea. He sat through the service and went to class without a fight. Toby went with him because he still won’t go into class by himself but he was well-behaved and even participated and raised his hand to answer questions. Our next goal is to get him comfortable enough to go to class by himself because Toby is ready for some adult interaction on Sundays. 🙂
3. We have had almost an entire week of easy bedtimes with Tyler. Bedtimes were always the hardest time of the day. They usually dragged on for an hour or two before we all were all so exhausted from the fight that we dropped where we stood and fell asleep. 😉 Tyler would fight us, tantrum, cry, climb out of bed, trash the room, etc. before he would wear himself out.. but this last week we have read him his story, said bedtime prayers, and tucked him in and he went straight to sleep with no fight. What a blessing that has been. It is so hard to fight the good fight when you are running on empty.
Two weeks ago we had a visit with the county social worker and she was asking how things were going. Her visit followed soon after Tyler’s “sit out” where we waited 3 hours for him to get into his booster seat and buckle up. As I told her about the incident and how we handled it and the end result her response was..”Oh, so are you going to keep him or should we start looking for a new placement.” I couldn’t believe it. “Of course we are going to keep him,” I replied. I was shocked that she would assume that a temper tantrum would cause us to give up and throw in the towel. She told me it happens all the time. I look at Tyler’s history and I guess that is true when I see the number of foster homes he went through before he came to us. It breaks my heart to see how quickly we, as people, give up on others when things quit being “fun” and start getting hard.
Love is about commitment. It’s about staying in it for the long haul and not giving up on those we love when they let us down, or disappoint us, or when it stops being easy. If we had given up on Tyler after that tantrum just look at all the progress and growth we would have missed. I know this process of adoption is full of successes and setbacks and will continue to be as we move forward…but isn’t that what being a family is all about. Family is about not giving up on each other or on ourselves during those dark times because if we “jump ship” during the storms of life then we will never get to experience the sunshine that comes after the storm.
“Being a family means you are part of something wonderful. It means you will love and be loved the rest of your life..no matter what.”
“When you are tempted to lose patience with someone, think how patient God has been with you.”