Last night we had a wonderful surprise..Tyler slept through the night! Ever since the time change Tyler has had a hard time adjusting to the fact that it is not sunny out when he wakes up at his usual 6:30/7:00 am time so anytime he wakes up in the night he assumes it is morning because now it is dark when he wakes up. As a result starting around 2:00am we hear BANG BANG..”WAKE UP IT’S MORNING TIME!” . Toby climbs out of bed, tucks Tyler back it while Tyler insists that it is morning time, and goes back to sleep for an hour or so until Tyler tries again. Toby then says to me, “Today for school could you please teach Tyler how to read a clock?” 🙂 Last night we put a digital clock next to his bed and told him that he couldn’t come out of his room until the first number turned 7. It worked! At 7:08 he came bounding out of his room and proudly declared that he waited until morning to wake up.
Last appointment started out well but it didn’t end well. Tyler went into his appointment without a fight. He invited Rusty to come along on our “date”, as we call it. Every therapy appointment day we go out for an ice cream cone after his appointment if it goes well and he behaves. This time he invited Rusty to come along. About halfway through the appointment the door opened and the therapist said, “Mrs. McCleery, I need you to come in and deal with this.” (Those dreaded words) I walked into the following scene..Tyler in the corner refusing to come out and game pieces scattered around the therapist’s room. She informed me that Tyler refused to clean up the game and when she tried to make him he began to temper tantrum and that I needed to “deal with this”. I looked at her, bit my tongue and thought to myself, “I can’t believe we pay for this bimonthly experience.” I felt as though I was refereeing two squabbling kids rather than speaking to a licensed therapist but I did as she said and “dealt” with Tyler. I picked him up and carried him out of the office and his kicked and wiggled and cried. I was grateful I wore my tennis shoes instead of heels. (I learned my lesson after the first appointment ) As we walked past the front desk I told Rusty he was going to have to set up our next appointment as I carried Tyler to the car. (For those of you who know Rusty’s history you will note the irony of Rusty speaking to the receptionist and setting up Tyler’s next therapy appointment.) 🙂
When we were settled in the car waiting for Rusty I tried to get Tyler to tell me what happened..but to no avail. We have come so far and yet we still have these moments where I am at a loss as to how to deal with these situations. Do I punish the behavior..do I sympathize with the emotions he is battling..so I pray. I don’t know what to do, but I know someone who does. We are trying to teach Tyler that there are consequences for choices and with that in mind I drove to the McDonald’s drive thru. I ordered two ice cream cones. Tyler perked up. Suddenly he was happy and animated. I pulled up to the window and handed the first cone that came out to Rusty and then took the second cone and begin to eat it as we pulled away. Tyler suddenly realized what it all meant and he began to cry. He didn’t say a word he just sobbed..sobbed the entire way home. It broke my heart and it took everything I had to keep eating that cone. When we arrived home I lifted him in my arms and hugged him. I told him I loved him and that I was sorry he missed out on getting an ice cream cone but the good news was that there would be another appointment and another chance to make a good choice. He hugged me back and said he was sorry.
Sometimes being a mother is so hard and the right choice is rarely the easy choice. I wanted desperately to buy him a cone but because I love him I couldn’t. I could have driven home without buying any cones but Rusty earned his cone and would the lesson have had the same impact if he didn’t watch Rusty eat his cone..I don’t know. All I know is that I followed the promptings I received and hoped it was the right decision.
Fast forward to this morning..
We arrived at therapy. Tyler went it without a fight. He followed directions, remained in the room for the entire time and I wasn’t called in to break up any fights. A successful day.. so afterward we all had ice cream!
In other news:
Tyler received his new kindergarten materials. After talking to the school we have decided it would be in his best interest to move him back to Kindergarten. I think with all things considered like his young age, his many transitions and the holes I see in his education history it will be for the best. I was thrilled to learn that the kindergarten teacher that will be overseeing him will be the same teacher that the girls had when they were little. I love her and am thrilled that I get to work with her again!
Tonight will be Rusty’s first overnight campout now that he is a boy scout. Toby will be going with him. He is so excited and was thrilled to learn that for dinner they are cooking steaks over the fire! Wow..I’m jealous..well maybe not about sleeping in a tent when it is 30 degrees outside but definitely about the steaks 🙂 I think it will be wonderful for Rusty and Toby to have some one on one time together and for Rusty to have Toby’s undivided attention for the night…and I have my own big plans for the night!
PS- Any guesses what Gracie has been reading lately?