Crying over spilt milk…


It seems as though the last two days have been nothing but tears. I think Toby is the only one who hasn’t had some sort of emotional meltdown. It seems as though everyone is extra sensitive and overly emotional. I realize most of this is due to shear exhaustion after a very busy holiday week. Everyone is tired and on top of that everyone is battling colds and not feeling well. The result is 3 days of playing referee to arguments, hurt feelings and tearful breakdowns.

Tyler has had a tough time since Thanksgiving weekend. I was so proud of how good he was this past weekend and how well he handled the stress and craziness of it all but I feel we are now paying for it. 7 days of being out of a routine was fun but I don’t know if it was worth it. I know part of the problem is that I am tired and I really want to just climb into bed and sleep for a few days rather than deal with the behavior issues as they arise but I know that it is during this time when I really don’t want to fight the battles that it is most important that I do.

Poor Tyler has spent quite a bit of time sitting on the fence post. We have found the “fence post” to be an effective tool in dealing with Tyler’s temper tantrums. When he begins to spin out of control we carry him out to the corner of the field and he has a “time out” on the fence post while Toby or I stand out there with him and talk to him until he calms down. We have found that most of his meltdowns are a result of something deeper but in the midst of his tantrum we can’t always get him to communicate his emotions. There is no reasoning  in that moment so going out to the fence post.. especially when it is dark and cold outside.. is a great way to get him to “cool down” quickly (both figuratively and literally.) When he is through with the tantrum and is calming down we can then talk through what it was that set him off and talk about what we can do differently next time.

There have been so many tears shed in the last few days that I feel like it’s a miracle we aren’t swimming through the house. Here is a sampling of what has been happening here at Patchwork Farm…

1. Tyler had a visit scheduled with his biological brother on Monday. The morning was spent with him in tears begging not to go. I was so frustrated with the county because I had purposely requested a change in his scheduled visit. I knew that after an emotional week-end  the visit would be tough on him. When the driver showed up to take him for the visit ( I’m not allowed to take him. A hired driver must pick him up) he put on his brakes and wouldn’t get into the car. He was on the verge of tears and wouldn’t look at me or respond to my questions. The driver was very empathetic and said that she wasn’t going to force him to go. She kindly said that these things happen all the time and that she would just reschedule the visit. We will try again in December..

Some days are just tough.. poor little boy..

2. Tyler and Rusty have been driving each other crazy lately. I know Rusty isn’t feeling good and so he is less patient then normal with Tyler. When Rusty becomes more sensitive Tyler tends to become more of a tease and it just escalates from there. Yesterday when Rusty wouldn’t share a game with Tyler, Tyler responded by threatening to tell Santa what a bad boy Rusty is…more tears.

Tyler and his new pet, Mimi!

3. Tyler didn’t want to go to our home school co-op yesterday but he went and was fine once we got there. While there he received a frog webkinz from Miss Lana, his history teacher, for a Christmas gift. He was so excited to get home and register it online and start playing with it. He named it Mimi. I did have to hide the scissors though when I found him trying to give it a haircut. He told me that frogs aren’t supposed to be furry so he was going to cut its hair. After I explained that cutting its hair would ruin it he agreed to leave it alone..but I think I’ll keep the scissors hidden for a while just to be safe 🙂

4. The kids woke up yesterday morning to find dead baby bunnies in the rabbit hutch. We didn’t even know we had a pregnant rabbit so finding babies was a shock. Molly shed many tears as she pulled the pink, bald babies out of the hutch to bury them. She is my animal lover and always takes it the hardest when we lose an animal.

5. This morning we  had an eggnog explosion in the dining room. Rusty was all set up for his online literature class with his

Don’t cry over spilt milk..or eggnog!

notebook, computer, and a FULL glass of eggnog when Tyler raced by tripping on the computer cord. The computer knocked into the glass of eggnog sending it flying against the wall. The wall, table, floor and pictures were covered in eggnog. This was the final straw for Rusty who was tired after being kept up all night by Tyler coughing and not feeling well. It was like the eruption after days of build up. Rusty yelled, “Tyler ruins everything!” as he ran from the room in tears. Tyler, devastated by Rusty’s declaration, ran to his room in tears. Me, tired of it ALL, began to cry until I looked down and saw Winnie, who had been caught in the eggnog explosion ,covered in eggnog, happily licking up the mess on the floor. I just had to laugh…

Marjorie Pay Hinckley had it right when she said:

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”

Enough tears… We are taking the rest of the day off of school… We are going to go play outside in the sunshine and enjoy the blessing of laughter!

Brotherly fun!

Miss Molly

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