“An abiding woman”

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It has been an interesting week. A lot of blessings, a lot of testing..little sleep.

Today has been an unexpected blessing. All the plans that we thought we had today were cancelled so we have enjoyed the treat of a day at home and after the week we had it was a blessed surprise. Here is our week in a nutshell..

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Last Saturday was spent getting things prepared for Sunday. Gracie and I were both speaking at church so I helped her type up the notes she had prepared and I worked on my talk as well. I was asked to speak on the topic of protecting our children. It was a topic that hit close to home. We have seen first hand the scars left by abuse as we have opened our home and hearts to Tyler. It was with a lot of prayer that I prepared the words I felt compelled to share. In the evening the girls had an ice-skating activity in North Park with other kids from church. They skated, played gamed and had a delicious soup dinner. It was a lot of fun for them!

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Sunday morning I was up early. I had an early morning meeting at church so I took Toby’s truck and Toby left 2 hours later and drove my SUV. When they arrived at church the kids were eager to inform me that “Dad broke my car.” As he was going down the driveway he looked back at Grace to answer a question and ran into one of the large rocks that line the driveway. He ended up knocking off the bumper, shattering the headlight and scraping up the undercarriage. He wasn’t happy. I was just glad it was him and not me because I would have never been allowed to live that down! 🙂

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Monday Molly was in charge of dinner and told me that she wanted to do a salad bar “just like a restaurant.” She put a lot of work into cutting up vegetables, laying out a wonderful assortment of toppings like chicken, french fries, sunflower seeds, craisins, olives, beets, croutons, etc. and making the salad. She then set it up buffet styles on the table for people to walk around and create their own salad. It was a fun idea and a really delicious dinner..thanks Molly!

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 Afterward we had family game night and played a Cranium game that we received for Christmas. We broke up into teams of two: Toby/Tyler, Grace/Molly and Rusty and I. We  had to pick a card and then  had one minute to accomplish the task on the card. It was a fun, quick paced game that all of us enjoyed!

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Tuesday was a busy school day followed by youth activities at church in the evening. We had one of our teachers and her daughter come in and teach the girls how to make scarves out of old T-shirts. They showed them a few different ways to cut up the shirts and tie the scarves. It was a fun class and all the girls enjoyed it. Here are two of the scarves my girls made..

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Wednesday was the beginning of a few tough days. We ran out of Tyler’s medication that he is on for his ADHD. When I went to refill it I was told that it couldn’t be filled until March 1st.  We must have lost two pills or been shorted two pills this past month but they said there was nothing they could do. We didn’t think it would be a big deal but boy, did we see the difference! We had co-op on Wednesday and Tyler had a good day. He went to his classes, participated, listened to his teachers but near the end of the day when we were in the gym I looked over and saw him and his friend fighting (tug- a-war style) over a balloon. It was the other boy’s balloon but Tyler wanted it. When I told him to give it back he told me no and ran away with it. When I told him that he was going to miss out on playtime after co-op if he didn’t give the balloon back he just kept running. So when he came flying past with the balloon I scooped him up and carried him out to the car for a time-out. We haven’t had defiance like that for a long time and I soon realized, especially by the next day, that his attitude and impulsiveness were partially  a result of not being on his medication.  I sent the kids home with a friend and Tyler and I sat in the car in the parking lot for 35 minutes. I was very pleased with his reaction and impressed by how far God has brought us..rather than having a tantrum over the fact that the kids were able to go play and he wasn’t he very calmly sat in the car and accepted his consequence. He was pleasant and visited with me and then after a half an hour asked if we could go play now. I told him how pleased I was by his response and we talked about what he could do better next time. Over all it was a good day!  That evening as we were going through his bedtime routine he told me he wanted to say a prayer. He has begun praying on his own now. I always know when he is praying because he will yell to me from across the house, “Momma, how do you start a prayer? I always forget!” As he lay in bed he prayed, “Dear Heavenly Father please make me the best jump roper in the whole wide world. Make me be able to do tricks like jump on my head..Amen.”

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Thursday we thought we were being inspected by Allegheny County in the morning but it never happened. We were up early in preparation for the visit. We have been assigned a new social worker who will help finalize our adoption. As part of the finalization they have to do yet another home inspection. We woke early to do a final pick up and wipe down before her 9:00 visit. We were ready and 9:00 came and went. At 10:00 Toby finally called to see if she was lost and she informed us that she had forgotten about our appointment and needed to reschedule for Monday instead. It was probably a blessing..although I was quite frustrated at the time..because Tyler was having a tough day. By day two we were really seeing the effects of no medication. I had just begun school with him and was trying to get him to focus on phonics when we saw a car coming down the driveway. It was another one of our social workers. We had no idea she was coming. She could see my confusion as I opened the door and asked, “Didn’t you get my letter that said I was coming?”…Umm, Nope.  The good news was the house was clean and we were all dressed thanks to our earlier, cancelled appointment..God is good! We had a nice visit and she was out the door. The kids spent the afternoon working on their compositions. Gracie is writing a research paper on rabbits and learning a lot. She has learned a lot of interesting fact and hints that she can apply to her bunnies downstairs.

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 Rusty is writing a persuasive paper on why we should go back to Disney World. He is hoping that if the paper is good enough Toby will book another trip to Disney. He has had all of the scrapbooks, maps, travel books and Disney websites out as he prepares his carefully thought out arguments. It is cute to see him working so hard for a cause he believes in. 😉

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Thursday evening was tough..Tyler spent quite a bit of time on the fence post. He didn’t want to go to bed. He was angry at everyone and informed us that he “just wants to move back to his old home!” I tried not to be sensitive or make it about me but it was hard. I was tired. It was midnight,l I was trying to get both boys to sleep and Tyler was trying to pick a fight. He was pushing me emotionally and the human side of me just wanted to push back. I knew that it was sleepiness, lack of meds and anger over being disciplined talking and I couldn’t take it personally…but I had to dig deep not to snap. I knew that in the midst of him pushing me away he was also testing to see if I was going to walk so I did the opposite and drew him close. He resisted at first. I lay next to him in bed..I rubbed his back..sang lullabies and whispered words of love.. I saw the fight begin to drain out of him. He began to cry, my broken little boy. I rubbed his back as he cried himself to sleep. Sometimes this journey is just so hard..

Friday morning he had a therapy appointment. By then I was really seeing the ADHD shining through. He was impulsive and inattentive and knowing how things usually go with his therapist I thought, “this has the potential to be a soup sandwich.” I didn’t know if I should cancel or if it would be good for her to see him off his meds for documentation purposes in case we need it in the future. We ended up going. On the way there Tyler informed me that his prayers haven’t been working. I asked him what he meant and he told me that he had been praying to Jesus every night that he could go back to live at his old home and it hasn’t happened. Before I could respond it was as if a lightbulb went off in his mind and he looked at me accusingly and said, “Momma, you aren’t praying that I will stay are you? Are you messin’ up my prayers?!” I confessed that I was indeed praying for him every night..that I was praying that God would put him exactly where he was meant to be and that I thought that place was with us.”

“But Momma, you said that God always answers our prayers. Why won’t he let me go back to my old house?”

“God always answer our prayers,” I assured him,” but that doesn’t mean the answer will always be yes..”

It is such a hard lesson to learn whether you are 6 or 35.

The therapy appointment went well. The therapist said he was inattentive but pleasant..sounds like success to me! Afterward we headed to the pharmacy to refill his medication and then headed home for piano lessons.

That night we had friends over for a pizza party. It was a simple get together with take out cuisine and paper plates but it was just what I needed. It was fun to visit with adults and laugh with friends.

As I shared in my last post I have really been struggling with weariness and I know it was a result of trying to do it all myself rather than calling on God or seeking His will. As I have been pondering this all week I came across this comparison of a super woman verses an abiding woman online and thought I would share because it really helped me put things in perspective:

A super woman does.

An abiding woman is.

A super woman tries to impress others.

An abiding woman pleases the Lord.

A super woman is controlled by an agenda.

An abiding woman is led by the Holy Ghost.

A super woman expects perfection from herself and others.

An abiding woman practices grace with herself and others.

A super woman finds peace in a “perfect” environment.

An abiding woman finds her peace in Jesus in the midst of any storm.

A super woman teaches her children to be good.

An abiding woman teaches her children to be Godly.

A super woman feels her self-worth comes from her accomplishments.

An abiding woman knows her self-worth comes from an accurate view of who she is in Christ.

A super woman does things with her children.

An abiding woman builds a relationship with her children.

A super woman chooses a quantity of activities.

An abiding woman chooses the most excellent way.. 1 Cor 13.

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