How to “fix” a goat

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About 6 weeks ago the girls received the best birthday gifts of their lives when they were given baby goats for their birthday presents from my parents. They picked out two boy goats and named them Chip and Thor. The problem though with baby boy goats is that they grow into stinky billy goats if you don’t “fix” them. So on this weeks “to do” list we had castrate goats in slot number three. Anything interesting on your “to do” list this week? 🙂 In case you have ever lay awake at night wondering how you “fix” a billy-goat I have provided step by step instructions for your reading pleasure, because you just never know when you might need this particular skill set…

Step one:

Catch your goat. This part is fairly easy because at this point they are wonderfully naive. Little do they know what is coming their way!

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Step two:

Medicate your goat with pain relief prior to the banding. In other words..have one person hold the goat down while the other person shoves an aspirin into the goat’s throat and tries to get it to swallow the pill  and not spit it out. Note: this could take multiple tries. Evidently goats…who eat everything…don’t like the taste of aspirin.

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Step three:

Gather your tools. You will need special rubber bands, a tool to open the rubber bands, and iodine.

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Step four:

Soak the bands you will be using in iodine to help prevent infection later.  You will also use the iodine to clean the “surgical area.”

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Step five:

Go back downstairs to administer a tetanus shot to the goat. Your goat will be less gullible after having had an aspirin shoved down its throat and may be harder to catch. Have your syringe filled with the medication before beginning. It is hard to hold a wiggling goat and fill a syringe with medication at the same time without giving yourself a tetanus shot.

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Step six:

It is time to crush your goat’s dream of fatherhood. This step takes two people… One to hold the goat by the back legs so that it is doing a “handstand” while the other attempts to position the band in place around the sack making sure that everything that is meant to be in the rubber band is in the rubber band. Do not expect the goat to endure this without a fight. There will be a lot of crying and kicking…oh, and the goat may get upset as well. 😉

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Step seven:

Let the band go and wince in sympathetic pain. Your goat will walk funny for a few days but then not even notice his loss. After a few weeks the sack will dry out and shrivel up due to lack of blood flow and then fall off. You then have a neutered goat.

Yep..that is how it’s done…just in case you were wondering.  One more thing crossed off the “to do” list. 🙂

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