Mother’s Day has been a favorite holiday since 1998 when I celebrated my first Mother’s Day with a two-month-old perfectly precious baby girl. I had every reason to delight in this spring holiday. I have been blessed abundantly with wonderful, righteous, giving and loving women in my life and I had all the reason in the world to celebrate…
celebrate not only my new role as a mother, but more importantly, celebrate all the women who walked before me who taught me how to be a mother.
Since adopting our two sons from foster care I find that my outlook on Mother’s Day has changed a bit. For the first time in my life I am exposed to the heartache and heartbreak often connected to this holiday. It isn’t a day of joy for everyone. It can be a day of great sadness and grieving.
Mother’s Day has become a hard holiday in our home as we acknowledge the great loss associated with this holiday for our sons who, while celebrating me, are grieving the absence of the woman they loved first…the woman who gave them birth.
With this grieving inevitably comes a mound of messy baggage and tough behaviors on this day that Hallmark totes as a day of ease and spoiling for Momma…haha!
With these tough emotions and behaviors come feelings of frustration and resentment for the older kids as they deal with younger brothers hijacking their efforts to make the day special for Mom.
I also find myself struggling under a mound of mixed emotions as I contemplate the great loss and sadness two particular women are feeling as their sons hand me flowers and homemade cards instead of them.
Mother’s Day has become a glad/sad holiday for me.
While I relish and cherish this role of mother,
Mother’s Day is a tough day.
My children (especially my big kids and Toby) went all out to salvage the day and make me feel loved, despite the struggles of the day.
Here is a look into their acts of love:
The day began with breakfast in bed. Grace and Rusty woke early to make breakfast and then woke the other kids when they were ready to wake me up and surprise me.
Since we had to get ready for church, and because the kids wanted me to be able to take my time as I opened gifts, they decided to wait until after church to give me my gifts.
At church Molly was one of five youth speaking on the topic of mothers. She did a wonderful job and I was touched by her words and her tribute.
After church Tyler came to find me so that her could give me the Mother’s Day gift he made with his teacher in class. It is always a treat to see what charming homemade gift comes home from primary on Mother’s Day. It is usually the best gift of the day!
When we arrived home the kids worked together to make lunch. Grace had taken everyone shopping earlier in the week to buy supplies for Mother’s Day gifts and to buy the makings for shish kabobs. Yum!
While the kabobs cooked on the grill the kids sat me down to present their gifts:
From Tyler I received roses. Grace later informed me that great love and thought went into the gift as Tyler sniffed every bouquet at the store in search of the best bouquet. While Tyler’s flowers were a special gift, Gracie’s angelic patience in taking her little brothers gift shopping was the REAL gift!
Ozzie bought me a new cup for cold drinks,
and Rusty bought be a new “Mom” mug for hot drinks. (The boys must think I have a “drinking” problem!) 😉
Molly made me a picture for my wall.
and Grace made me homemade soaps.
Together the girls, knowing how much Momma loves her bubble baths, researched how to make homemade bath bombs, and gifted me with a box of beautiful lavender bath bombs for the ultimate soaking experience.
The remainder of the day spent managing the hard emotions and behaviors connected to Mother’s Day.
When the little boys were put to bed at the end of the day I finally was able to rest…emotionally rest. I sat with Toby and older three children and we watched National Park videos of the places we are going to visit later this summer. It was a joy to sit and look forward to our fun, family trip and let go of some of the weight of worry I had been shouldering all day.
It was a beautiful day made all the more special by my husband and children…
but I must admit I felt a sense of relief as the day drew to a close. As nice as holidays are, sometimes plain old boring Mondays are easier.
Does that make me a bad mom?
Happy Mother’s Day to all my favorite Moms.