A Tired Momma


The best comprehensive overview of life with children with attachment issues (aka…RAD) that I have seen. Parenting a RAD child can be the most draining, exhausting, defeating, and isolating road to walk. It is hard to explain how very hard life is for the parents and siblings of children with Reactive Attachment Disorder. To the outside world these very hurt, sick children can seem charming and delightful. The parents of RAD kids are often seen as overly strict, hard on their children, or crazy because these children have developed unbelievably advanced ability to lie, manipulate, and charm, meanwhile behind closed doors the storms rage 24/7 with the primary caregiver being the most targeted victim of the abuse. This heartbreaking disorder is brought on by lack of care when a child is young. By not having their most basic needs met by a loving parent these children never learn to form attachments. I have two children with a RAD diagnoses, with one who displays the symptoms to the degree laid out in this overview. I am a tired Momma. Parents of RAD kids live in a constant state of exhaustion as a result of moving through their days in a hypervigilant state. I am feeling the fatigue all the more intensely with Toby gone. Parenting an abusive child with no respite is so hard. I know some of my friends with RAD kids will get this. I can see them nodding, “Yes, yes! This is my life!” But for those that don’t live in a world where attachment disorders drive every aspect of your day, here is a cheat sheet into our world. I share not to embarrass or shame. I share not for attention or pity. Rather, I share, because I know there is someone reading this with tears streaming down their face, thinking, “Finally someone understands what I have been going through.” Whether this is your journey or whether your struggles come in a different form, this is a good reminder that things are rarely what they seem. Ladies, let us all love and support each other more and judge a little less.


For more about our life raising a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder check out this previous post:


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